Thursday, December 18, 2008
First, I need to explain a little something. I see myself as an artist, not like a specific artist like a painter or anything, but an artist of many talents. I write, paint, sketch, draw, use various mediums, the whole nine yards. Well, to be fair, I'm a Poet artist. I'm a poet first and foremost, then an artist in many senses of the word.
So, today - well, now that I think about it, it's been an ongoing thing for a while - someone close to me, whom I view as a great artist and a great inspiration, discredited me as an artist. Here's how it went... *coolie flashback vortex*
We're sitting around the table, a friend that we just met sitting beside us. We're still getting to know this guy so he says to us, "Which one of you is the artist?"
My someone-that-is-close-to-me immediately says, "I am."
Come on, let's be fair we're both artists, I put in.
"No, I am." then she proceedes to talk to this friend about her art and blah blah blah.
*coolie vortex ends*
I'm left there, feeling put down and discredited and....I don't know how to describe it. It's like telling someone they can't be who they are, they can't be short or can't be a woman. I already knew this person doesn't respect me as an artist and that was fine (she respects me as a writer, but not an artist), but to totally bash me like that was...cruel. No matter how good my work is, no matter how hard I try, she can't see me as an equal. I see now that I've never shown my work to anybody because if she can't respect my art, how can others? If the one person I trust everything to can't accept me and be my equal, then how can I let myself be exposed to others?
Maybe I just think too highly of this person's approval. I don't need approval from anyone to be who I am and to vent my creativity....
It still hurts.
This one is called Violets are Blue. It was actually very complicated to make this picture. I wanted the floweres to be a really strong blue, but then they took away from the rest of it. To fix that, I cut the leaves and the grassy part in the corners and put them on a new layer so that I could sharpen their color without changing anything else. Then I had to soften the reds a little in the top corner. Part of the rocks ended up on a different layer so that I could move the leaves around. I finally got it all together, just the right hues and everything. Va-la!
This one is Star of the Show. Really all I did to this picture was tone down the orange (the light when I took the picture made it look very very orange) and take out my palm from the background. Oh yeah, I also cropped it and took out the other half of the apple so it was more balanced.
Fountain of Stars. I just adjusted the contrast so that the trees were really dark and the water was brighter. I toyed with the idea of somehow putting shooting stars coming out of the water like droplets of water, but I figured it looked good like this (and it was too complicated to figure out XD.)
Life is a Balancing Act. This one is the most drastically changed and digitalized. I took a picture of my foot on a cement ball that we have in our drive way. Then, I edited out the ball and put the Earth in its place. I didn't intend for the background to end up like that, but I was messing around with renderings and stumbled upon this one that I thought looked cool. After it rendered though, I had to move it around and change the radius so that it was behind the Earth and looked like it was...well how it is.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
But I don't get it? What is the purpose of flirting? He comes in, we flirt, I smile and act all smexy and like I'm totally in to him....but then he leaves and I go back to work. What is the point? We didn't get anywhere and while he's convinced he's in love with me, I only know his name....and that's not even because he told it to me. I had to eavesdrop to become privy to that knowledge.
Cooking, on the other hand, is something I understand. I'm proud to report that both carrot cakes and one banana bread loaf turned out perfect! This after two failed attempts at making ginger bread and pumkin bread, (The failure was NOT due to my faulty cooking; the stupid oven, come to find out, is not heating properly. I know, what a nice surprise for Thanksgiving Day. XD) and dumping one banana bread all over the floor. Stupid chair got in my way.
*Shrug* oh well, I'll just go back to basting my turkey and be content with that....for now.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The Primary activity was so much fun! I manned the "Bob for Donuts" station with the help of one of the Abbot boys...I can never remember his name. It was so much fun to see all my Primary kids dressed up, and of course they were the cutest ones! XP Andrew was a frog, Savannah a Lady Bug but her costume was so hot, she only wore it when she was going through Trick or Treating, Giovanni was the Black Spiderman, Raven the Phantom of the Opera (Yeah Raven!!), Lauren was Sleeping Beauty, Analena was Cinderella, and David was Batman. The most awesome costume, though, had to go to Alex in her Book of Mormon costume that she forgot to put arm holes in. Her brother stood behind her for the picture and was her arms. XD
Monday, October 27, 2008
Now, to fill all ya'll in on some things...there's this really cute guy that works at the clinic and he comes into the shoppette all the time. He's absolutely GORGEOUS!!! His eyes are the most clear, most adorable blue....no, to call them blue is a disgrace, they are...I don't even know the word for it. Anyway, when ever he sees me, he's like "Hey Wendy!" and I feel kind of bad because I don't know what his name is.
So, when he came into the shoppette the other day, as he was leaving (after we had chatted for a little while) I shouted after him "Hey! I have a question!"
He comes back all cool and suave and says, "Yeah?"
"What's your first name?" XDDDD yeah, cuz I can be just as suave as him.
Then of course, he mantains his savy and replies, "Richard, but my friends call me Rich so you can call me Rich."
Yeah buddy, I just got a new best friend. I want to sketch him, that's all there is to it.
Then there's the other guy. He came in a few weeks ago and declares his love for me before leaving....without a name or a date or anything. Well, he came in and being the little eavesdropper that I am, I found out his name is Josh....and even though he asked me if I was going to where ever the heck he was talking about, Mr. Hanks or Franks or something or other, I still don't have a date.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
I read in the Stars and Stripes that there was a walk for the prevention of violence against women (sex crimes and abuse) and the men in the walk wore high heels. Now that's more like it. They want us to look good in high heels and dress all nice and pretty, well it's not as easy as it looks and it's a lot more painful than whatever it is that guys do, football or whatever.
I'm not going to dress all nice tomorrow. I'll wear my nice comfy tennis shoes and good blouse, do my hair simply nothing fancy. Of course now that I'm going to do that you know he'll come in. But at least I won't be cranky and in pain. I'll be able to flirt without grimacing everytime I shift my weight.
And that's what's important, being friendly and being able to flirt, none of this look-as-good-as-the-customer-service-ladies; it's way too painful.
Other than that, it was a good day. I finally got one of my scholarship checks so I can pay for the next terms classes....now I just have to decide which classes to take....
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Sunset on Wall Street
Bring me the sunset in a tea cup
And I will give you Wall Street in a can.
We'll sit on a dingy and reminisce
Dream of things that have passed,
Createe for ourselves a future-
If ever we get off the dingy.
I'll make a raft of hair for you
If you cry the ocean for me.
We'll make it off this dingy
For I cannot cry and you have no hair.
Then we'll share a dish of life
Grow old, watch teh sun drip across the sky
Until the last drop falls to the tea cup
And winks as the light goes out.
--Wendy Holloway (Oct 2008)